I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
