Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
