NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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