is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize