wrigley field is MILF paradise
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
