where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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