ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
