My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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