just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
