Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
