she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
