And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
