her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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