That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
