I just made out with a guy for $7.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
