I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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