Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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