Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
