ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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