he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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