im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
