Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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