i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We are two peas in an std pod
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
