He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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