"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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