Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
