you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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