So drunk its hurt
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I will be naked everywhere
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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