Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
