Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
