When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
