i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
