some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
