Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Randomize
