After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize