A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
