Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
