Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!