Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN