Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off

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  (763): I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off http://tfl.nu/3u8c
  Replies (29) Good night (848) Bad night (11108)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.

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  (251): I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole. http://tfl.nu/c6gz
  Replies (18) Good night (922) Bad night (4646)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.

  (727): View more from Florida

  More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.

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  (954): I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning. (727): More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort. http://tfl.nu/lvyr
  Replies (15) Good night (4684) Bad night (585)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.

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  (313): Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/j0gt
  Replies (20) Good night (4532) Bad night (966)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.

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  (860): Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them. http://tfl.nu/f4br
  Replies (22) Good night (5624) Bad night (986)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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  (757): Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome' http://tfl.nu/u586
  Replies (17) Good night (4541) Bad night (905)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND

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  (352): I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND http://tfl.nu/oakz
  Replies (32) Good night (1650) Bad night (3435)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.

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  (818): Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong. http://tfl.nu/rtog
  Replies (3) Good night (1193) Bad night (618)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

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  (217): yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think http://tfl.nu/9wa8
  Replies (15) Good night (1322) Bad night (530)
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  (562): View more from California

  I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you

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  (562): I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you http://tfl.nu/q7ed
  Replies (7) Good night (1324) Bad night (464)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.

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  (215): Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video. http://tfl.nu/ct0i
  Replies (5) Good night (2208) Bad night (684)
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  (626): View more from California

  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
  Replies (12) Good night (1414) Bad night (536)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...

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  (702): It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall... http://tfl.nu/3zyu
  Replies (6) Good night (418) Bad night (599)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you

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  (740): No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you http://tfl.nu/56sg
  Replies (1) Good night (967) Bad night (231)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?

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  (781): What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest? http://tfl.nu/6m0u
  Replies (4) Good night (249) Bad night (366)

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