I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.