You're so nebulous sometimes
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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