i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
