Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
