I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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