Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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