I think I am morally bankrupt
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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