Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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