you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
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There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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