I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
