whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
