Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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