I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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