If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
