she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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