We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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