OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize