ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
