happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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